Dancing while Storming

Ok, this is the deal, I am about to turn 32 and it will be 5 years since I decided to start my marriage in Israel. I am still trying to figure myself out but I won't go into details because then this won't be an article but a whole book. I just wanted to share something that my Deputy CEO taught me recently while I was having a corporate identity crisis right in his office. Kudos to the man for instead of sending me to take a hike, turned the scene into a life lesson.

A process

Look, I love processes, it is a big part of what I do at work and I enjoy every step of it, so when the Deputy CEO used some keywords hinting a process I was like: no more tears, time to listen, and all my neurons lined up to take notes.

Psychologist Bruce Tuckman developed the "Forming, Storming, Norming, and Performing", a model to improve team performance. Forming, where team members get to know each other and establish roles; Storming, when conflicts arise as individuals test boundaries; Norming, where differences are resolved, and collaboration strengthens; and Performing, when the team functions at peak efficiency. Later, Tuckman introduced a fifth stage, Adjourning (or "mourning"), which signifies the team’s dissolution and reflects on its accomplishments. You can read more about it here.

During the conversation we mostly focused on Forming, Storming and Performing. It was very interesting to see how my work trajectory could be analyzed with this approach. We agreed that I was going through the Storming stage in some aspects and in others I was already Performing. On they way back, like a cow, I started to ruminate on the information.

Graphic taken from the internet

Forming and Performing - got it - but Storming?

Forming and Performing could be considered, from my perspective, the easy stages, or at least the not-so-hard-to-handle stages. When the rain and the strong winds come over is when the show starts. When you are Forming you are starting the adventure, you are always open to new things, to new experiences. I Formed my way into Israel. I started making friends, applying to jobs, understanding how the city/country works and more. It is kind of like a honeymoon stage.

In Peru I was already Performing and probably my biggest Storming moment was during the first years of university where I was kind of finding myself in that new open world that had nothing in common with my younger years in high school. I thought I could Perform right away when I moved to the Middle East, but I had to start over and in the process I forgot I knew how to dance under the rain, how to storm my way around. Storming is not for the weak of heart, although sometimes even the strongest ones have issues with this. With age comes experience, with experience comes maturity to face the storm better.

Dancing and Storming like a she-boss

I have decided that my 2025 is going to be my Storming stage and God only knows how we will survive it. I have had 4.5 years to Form myself in Israel, to Form around many aspect of my life that were affected by this crazy decision of mine of building my marriage in the Middle East. Maybe my storm started on October 7th (more about that in another article), and now that I am approaching my date to apply for citizenship the winds are getting crazier, now that I am turning 2 years in this company, the rain is going all mad on me.

My Deputy CEO asked me which path would I like to take - I do half operations, half MIS - when the company keeps growing and even though my automatic response was operations, MIS is also an attractive field. Which one has a less rainy scenario for me? They are equally stormy - to me - because I fell into the high tech field by mistake, by a random click on a Facebook ad.

Storming should not necessarily be all negative. The storm brings rain and rain is good for the crop. Rain is good for the desert and we all know how much the Middle East needs it. The storm, while aggressively moving things around, can bring to the surface elements you did not know you had in you. Resilience, strength, coping mechanisms, dark humor, and more.

My rainy boots after one of the last storms in Israel

If you are wearing shorts and a t-shirt, a storm might not be your favorite weather. You need to prepare yourself for it. Good boots, a waterproof jacket, thick clothes, maybe gloves and a hat. You need a waterproof backpack/bag if you are always carrying things around. You need to chin up and fight against the wind and the hard drops to get to your destination, to start Performing.

I like dancing in the rain, I like jumping into puddles and splash water around but I hate that water becomes mud and I end up all dirty. I love to see the plants feeling fresh. The storm can be good, but can we truly enjoy dancing through it? My answer is yes, but only if we did a good Forming stage and we are truly motivated to reach the Performing phase. Storming will build your character, it might hurt it a bit, too, but it is worth it.

I know I have the right Formation, I believe in myself. I just think my compass got a bit loss during this Storming called migration. It is a battle uphill, with a bit of hailing once in a while, lots of constant rain but with a shy rainbow winking at me once in a while from the side. What/who are my rainbow? The friendships I built in the past 4.5 years, my husband and his family, my coworkers, Noam from the wood store that laughs at my wood projects, Moshe from the grocery store that smiles at me when I try to ask him questions in my broken Hebrew, the Israelis are my rainbow in the middle of my Storming stage and God knows how glad I am to call them my people.

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